An

There once was this person

i don’t even remember

where we met

but i was still

quite young

19 or 20 i think

 

We were friends

and hanging out

and once

we slept with each other

but she didn’t wanna pull off

her clothes

and me to see

her body

 

The fabric

of her t-shirt

and shorts

felt like a wall

between our skins

 

Her friends

were all complaining

about her style

because she looked

just like a boy

 

So one day

we went shopping

and as i was working

in a clothes shop myself

i picked out some stuff

i thought could be cool

and let her try it out

 

But the more pieces she tried on

the more down she got

so it was clear

she felt most comfortable

in her own jeans

and hoody

and didn’t really need

anything else

 

I once asked her

if she’d rather be a boy

than a girl

and she started crying

and answered

yes

 

In this moment

i understood

that in this small city

there just was

no space for her

to be herself

 

She felt strange

and ugly

not because of who she was

but because of what she saw

in others’ peoples eyes

 

They were like mirrors

reflecting

society’s narrow mindedness

and contempt

 

An was beautiful

but different

and in Gent

people don’t like different

 

They think they do

but actually

they don’t

 

I know that

and that’s why

one year later

i had to leave

myself

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2 thoughts on “An

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